Posts tagged: perfect
au where the trojan war is a party menelaus throws to win back his girlfriend who left him for some douchebag and he ropes all his friends into helping him and wacky shenanigans happen and a running gag is that odysseus doesn’t even want to be there he’s got shit to do and at the end he gets stuck in traffic on the way home
on the way home odysseus gets into a very minor fender bender that’s more like a fender bumper with some shit driver who is almost DEFINITELY high. and it’s all this guy’s fault but he won’t stop screaming about how he’s gonna fucking sue and odysseus just wants to go the fuck home and the guy goes “I’M FILING THE POLICE REPORT WHO ARE YOU” and odysseus is just so done that he says “nobody” and drives the fuck off and this completely tripping guy ends up screaming to the police at the side of the road at like three in the morning “NOBODY CRASHED INTO MY CAR!!!!!”
#I’M FUCKING SCREAMING #THIS WOULD BE SO GOOD THO #ODYSSEUS’ GF PENELOPE IS STUCK AT ANOTHER PARTY #GETTING HIT ON BY DOUCHES FROM ANOTHER FRAT #BUT ODYSSEUS HAS TO LIKE FIND A NEW CAR AND TRIES TO BORROW ONE FROM THIS CHICK WHO GIVES HIM SOME FUCKIN LACED POT OR SOMETHING BC HE FEELS LIKE HE’S BEEN THERE FOREVER #AND MEANWHILE PENELOPE HAS BEEN FORCED TO SAY THAT SHE’LL GO HOME WITH WHOEVER CAN BEAT HER AT BEERPONG #ONLY SHE’S FUCKIN LEGENDARY #SUCKS TO SUCK THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN BEAT HER IS ODYSSEUS #BUT HE HAS TO BE ON THE DL BC THIS FRAT HATES HIS GUTS #AND HE BEATS HER #AND SHE KNOWS IT’S HIM
like what else was expected from me? my baby as my favorite superhero. there’s no way i wasn’t gonna do something about it
Game of Thrones | Princess Bride Edition
mako, stacker and raleigh
So like. Parents can come to Hogwarts to see their kids play Quiddich, right? (shut up if it’s not and just roll with me here.)
So what happens when Muggle parents get invited?
Could you imagine tho?
Like, after the initial “holy shit look at this magic stuff” they’d be like INTO IT.
THEY’D GET THE MAGICAL PARENTS INTO IT TOO.
THEY’D MAKE SHIRTS.
AGGRESSIVELY WEARING YELLOW EVERYWHERE THEY GO.
BEGGING THEIR CHILD FOR INFORMATION SO THEY CAN UNDERSTAND THE GAME BETTER.
SCREAMING AT THE REFS
ALSO MAGICAL PARENTS BECOMING FRIENDS WITH MUGGLE PARENTS AND BOTH COUPLES GETTING TOGETHER FOR COUPLE DATES
THEY INTRODUCE EACH OTHER TO EACH OTHER’S WORLDS
THEIR KIDS ARE LIKE
oh my god our parents are friends with each other omg
AND THEY MEET AT QUIDDICH GAMES AND JUST
"JULIE!!! OVER HERE!!! I SAVED YOU AND PATRICK SEATS!"
"OMG THANK YOU SEAN! HOW IS YOUR LAWYERING FIRM GOING?"
"IT’S A LAW FIRM AND IT’S GOING GREAT! HOW GOES THAT NEW RECIPE FOR THAT POTION THAT GETS RID OF STAINS?"
"IT’S A DISASTER, THE WHOLE HOUSE SMELLS LIKE ONIONS! AT LEAST IT’S BETTER THAN SMELLING PHIL’S SHOES."
"I’M SITTING RIGHT HERE SEAN."
"I KNOW. YOUR SHOES SMELL, DEAR."
AU: When a prince comes to Agrabah in the hopes of winning the hand of the sultan’s daughter, Jasmine falls for one of the dancers in his royal caravan - Esmeralda; they run away together.