Storytime

We’re supposed to get thunderstorms in the coming week, so of course just before the thunder breaks out it’s unbearably hot. Luckily, there are backyard pools.

freewilllhunting:

if this is not one of the best headlines you have ever seen then i am v sorry but i can not help you

(Source: sweetfleet, via professorpineapple)

soaringrachel:

sea-change:

they also went to the louvre together to, like, check out the dicks on statues for comparison just to calm scott the fuck down.

(i can just picture them, scott being his usual neurotic self, and ernest just like, ‘give me strength. are you fucking kidding me? i nearly died in the war. i have a fucking medal of bravery. and we’re looking at cocks together. gatsby can only take you so far, my friend. you better write another goddamn masterpiece soon.’)

#the long version of this story is actually much better #because scott asks hemingway to have lunch with him and the first thing he says to hemingway when they’re there is ‘so you know how i’ve … #…never slept with anyone but zelda’#hemingway is like #…what #scott says so i was fighting with zelda the other day and she told me i wasn’t …adequate #hemingway is like … #…OH #he says: scott let’s go into the men’s bathroom #they go into the men’s bathroom #they come out of the men’s bathroom #hemingway says scott you are PERFECTLY FINE #scott is all B BUT WHY WOULD ZELDA SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAAAAAT #hemingway just. does not comment on zelda fitzgerald. #(that’s a fucking lie hemingway comments so hard on zelda fitzgerald) #scott says WELL I STILL FEEL BAD #hemingway says OKAY FRIEND HERE IS WHAT WE ARE GOING TO DO #WE ARE GOING TO GO TO THE LOUVRE #AND YOU CAN LOOK AT ALL THE COCKS YOU WANT #OKAY???? #scott is like …sniffle; okay #they go to the louvre #scott feels even worse #hemingway kind of sees his point #he says ‘look scott do you want me to just give you some fucking tips’ #scott is all …yes #hemingway gives him some tips #which according to his memoirs include ‘the trick with the pillow’ #and much much more #and well zelda and scott stayed married

 

(Source: iluvalbertfishstickz, via professorpineapple)

abelrunner:

consulting-hylian:

biggest plot twist of the entire series

Good boy, Hannibal.

Good boy.

(via professorpineapple)